Understanding Hatred

What truly makes us humans happy is living in positive resonance with others, experiencing love and feeling seen, combined with a sense of capability and efficacy. We want to have loving relationships in which feel safe and secure. We want to be professionally effective, to be able to develop our strengths, and to be seen and acknowledged. We want the freedom to follow our hearts, in an appropriate, mature way.

When we grow up in an environment of hate and envy where we have to protect ourselves against emotional and physical violence, and experience much condescension and rejection, we perceive ourselves as so negative that we can become “evil.” Our minds become ill in a way that pushes our development in a specific direction. Instead of naturally developing according to our inclinations and talents, we learn to hide our desires and our love and engage in a struggle of power for survival. When the young self experiences its environment not as worthy of protection but as dangerous and hostile, it cannot develop a desire to contribute positively to this very environment. Instead it develops a very deep and very wild anger towards its oppressors. Over the years, this anger becomes interwoven with the general ego-identification in such a way that it gets largely unconscious and projected onto the environment. Some people unconsciously disown their hatred so much they become “the perfect victim” in a “hateful world”. Other people use their hatred to feel powerful and “ahead of things”. People who act hatefully are naturally aware of their destructive power and impact. What remains completely unconscious is their longing for love and recognition and the internal split in their soul.

Strongly radicalized individuals who spread fear and terror on everybody around them are themselves victims of such a toxic environment. What Donald Trump and Elon Musk (for example) have in common are fathers who rejected and humiliated them. Fathers who, in turn, were obsessed with profit and the pursuit of power (and likely had similarly unloving fathers) and treated their environment, including their families, with condescension to the point of emotional devastation. If, in such a situation, the mothers prove to be “weak,” subservient, and, from the child’s perspective, complicit in the betrayal of their loving and kindhearted soul, this can additionally lead to a deep hatred of women in general. These individuals can no longer feel that they yearn for the love and recognition of their parents or family. They transfer their inner world onto the world around them and give free rein to their anger.

Trump and Musk (just as examples) started their adult lives with great financial wealth and an extreme emotional deficit and used all their power to gain the upper hand in an inner world of hate and rejection. They are unconsciously still trapped in trying to impress their fathers and punish their mothers and siblings for their lack of support, with a manic obsession beyond all benefit. It is like a kind of vendetta against a perceived enemy in which the avenger slowly destroys themselves along the way.

Other politicians and super-rich, extremely unsocial individuals have similarly traumatic childhoods, damaged self-esteem, a lack of emotional development, a strong narcissistic side, and many emotional existential fears that lead them to their egocentric and destructive actions.

For good and just politics, it is not only necessary to have mature, educated politicians, but also a majority of mature and sufficiently educated voters. The well-being of a child, the well-being of a family/community, and the well-being of a country depend on the genuine leadership qualities of those “in power.” There is no person on the planet who would need even a single billion €/$ to live, let alone to be happy. There is also no one person who can live happily without an intact planet, beautiful landscapes, clean water, and fresh air. All the destruction we are currently experiencing is based on the short-term delusions of immature, angry, and emotionally deeply distressed individuals who are elected to power by others like themselves.

Hate originates from love. In every human being, there is a completely natural and innate love for the good-natured self. We love ourselves and we love life and food and our parents when we are born as healthy babies. We love to play, to get attention, and to learn. We love to bring joy to our parents and other people in our environment. We love to be seen as something special and lovable, to be perceived positively. And we deserve this. Each and every one of us is special, has special gifts, and we can bring each other infinite joy – if the circumstances within and around us allow it. It is precisely this love that can turn into hatred. And every hate, every hateful action and expression is a (deeply unconscious) attempt to restore this original “life of love.”

Without love, there is no hatred.

And if we truly seek our happiness, connection, closeness, and kindness, we must give up our personal vendettas. Don’t blame me, but ask me honestly why I did (or didn’t do) this or that. If I hurt you, forgive me. It’s only because I believe I have to defend myself, to strike back. If we look closely, we can communicate entirely without violence. We can speak to each other without blame and without fear if we dare to be truthful. We are truthful when we are connected with our own feelings and needs. Then the path is clear for connection, for love, community, friendship, and real life.

Every soul is bound to mature. This may take many lifetimes, but it must happen. The deepest (mostly unconscious) longing of any human being is to be immersed in their own loving nature.